Saturday 18 July 2015

Critisizing Plain Jane part 5: Episode 1 part III


Continuing with my review-commentary of the first episode of this horrific makeover show...One long discussion in this part (one turned out to be too long, so I'll be posting it separately) that can be added to the 'read-later' list at will.

Part III: 

-Summary: The stylist takes Cristen to get some new clothes and manipulates her with sexist stereotypes in order to change her tastes and 'fashion sense'. Because she must learn how to be a feminine, sexy woman in order to succeed in her arranged date! Because being 'feminine' and 'sexy' sure doesn't involve a limited set of options and a lot of gender constructs and stereotypes! And what does it matter if she has her own tastes? Well, it does matter, because she shouldn't have personal opinions. Let us be logical here and think about priorities, folks.

-"She needs to learn about fashion [she needs?]. The best way to teach her is to show her what she's doing wrong"

 Here's the golden rule of our society's suffocating fashion area: Having her own style is doing something wrong because she doesn't conform to what (patriarchal) society dictates that women and men should wear. Once she's forced into the new 'fashionable' and 'feminine' style she will realize it had been her favourite style all along. Logic wins the day.

-And right then we have the lovely bonus of her relatives making fun of her clothes. Because family and friends in this show do not know the meaning of ‘empathy’ and ‘support’ if their relative happens to be a woman. Parents and family only support and approve of male offspring in this show, it seems (and they take their time to remind us all about how they are perfect in every way). Same goes for friends, both male and female.

-Meanwhile, Cristen is very naïvely selecting things she likes in the shop. The stylist is quick to snatch those offending items from her hands with some fantastic phrases as a bonus:

Stylist - "Is that a hoodie?! 
Cristen (apologetic) - "It's cute!"
Stylist (scandalized) - "Get rid of it, get rid of that!! Oh my god!" 
(I mean, how DARE you get hold of a hoodie, you tomboy!)
Darling, wake up, only men can wear hoodies in the 21st Century!
The stylist sees a floral dress, and goes 'Mmmh, cute...But it's too girly, I need sexy!'. Next moment, Cristen literally hugs the dress and says 'Oooh, I love this!'. But somehow it's wrong for her to have her own taste and be happy with what she likes. Just ugh.

And the winner quote of the day is: "If you're going to seduce a guy, you can't dress like a guy. That's Cristen's problem". 

Allow me a gif before anything else, because I can't even....UUUUGHHHH!!
Merida understands all my pain 
This 'simple' sentence is so wrong is so many ways!

   -Discussion-rant: This charming sentence is saying, as we all should know by now, that the main aim of this girl, and of any woman, is to 'seduce a guy'. That's it. No life choices, no studies, no aspirations, no dreams, apart from the utter necessity of  transforming her appearance so that she's considered 'attractive', 'sexy' and 'seductive' by her crush and by men in general - which, by the way, also implies that she must change and forgo many aspects of her personality which are not considered sufficiently 'seductive'. After all, seducing a boy apparently also involves putting his needs before hers in every way and hiding who you are for his convenience - And that's why she's changing herself so radically, after all. This is no 'I don't quite fancy my style, I think I'd like a change and would appreciate advice' kind of show (and those are also pretty stereotype-ridden, by the way). This is a hardcore 'change for your man' makeover show, and they mean it.

What else is this appalling quote implying? It's, once again, also full of gender stereotyping. Not only must the girl aim to 'seduce the guy', she must 'dress like a girl' in order to achieve that. And with 'dressing like a girl' they're choosing an incredibly limited set of gendered clothing options, and also a limited set of style options, and branding those, and only those, with the words 'feminine', and 'for girls' (these usually include heels, tube skirts or dresses, and 'feminine' colours and prints, depending on whether they want to go for 'cute-girly' or for 'seductive-sexy'). Any other items are quite simply 'not for girls'- these offending 'unfeminine' items can include anything from hoodies to...any kind of comfy clothing and shoewear, really. Girls are not supposed to wear comfortable clothing, for shame, we're supposed to seduce a guy in mobility-restraining and pretty much society-compulsory skirts and high heels. Or to drown in our own natural cuteness with pink frills, depending on the occasion.
And that is why I hate Hermione's Yule ball dress so much. I guess periwinkle blue was just too unfeminine!!  In a dazzling display of irony, it was bully Pansy Parkinson who wore pink and frills in the book, but the film wanted Hermione to be  cute and feminine, probably in order to remind us that she's a girl even though she's smart, logical and likes to read. The gods forbid we view her as too tomboyish for liking to read, so they had to compensate!
 This show, as many others and all other forms of media, endeavours again and again to brainwash us with an extensive set of gendered ideas and labels and categories, using not only gender bias but the subjective personal likes of the few who have the power of dictating what's 'fashionable' or 'trendy' - which, to quote Spock, in a dazzling display of logic, is what everyone else should be wearing and liking! 

I consider myself a non-binary woman in this respect, so I say no to any kind of illogical gender binarism that states that something is only 'for girls' or 'for boys'. Society should have no say in what is supposed to be worn or used by women or men. Nor should it be telling me what is 'trendy' or what I should like - and that I will be the weirdo if I don't conform to that.

Let's continue xD

-Cristen selects a series of clothing she likes, while the stylist does her own choosing for her (want to guess which items will win?). Then, Cristen is forced to try on all her choices ('Show me...your favourite pieces') and have the stylist tear her apart every single time in a very offensive and very humiliating way:

Cristen loves everything she shouldn't love. The stylist scoffs at her choices because they're "guys'  clothing" or "not sexy enough". 

Gender stereotypes? Check. Monitoring women's clothing choices? Check. Forcing someone to change their style to conform to some rubbish sexist ideals? Check. 
Cristen is always looking so mortified and apologetic for liking the clothes she likes. Just ugh.
-And there's a lot of very offensive bashing: "No! You look like a librarian" (An 'insult' the so-called fashionistas oh-so-love. Because reading is not cool or something). "You look like you slept on a park bench" (thanks for being insensitive) .  "Why would you put a hoodie over a dress?"  (well, no one’s forcing you to do it! I find dresses+hoodies to be a great combination, but I do not force other people to wear them!).

Now - This is what you should wear...and LIKE! Your whole life was a lie until I came to torture you!
"Well, you know you showed me that fairly awful, childish top that Tye saw you in...This is the grown-up version".  Of course, being grown-up women comes with some responsibilities, we are no longer allowed to wear what we like because, duh, we owe our body to society and men, so we should always dress for them!  

 -Discussion-rant: For society, you're either a ‘slut’ ("dress more modestly or you'll get harassed!"), or ‘not girly enough’ ("be more cute and feminine, you tomboy!"), or ‘not sexy enough’ ("you look like a librarian/nun! Show some skin!").  Everything revolves around evaluating and objectifying women. Please notice how most guys can rock their baggy jeans and T-shirt (clean or otherwise!) and still be considered hot and brimming with macho sexiness. On a general basis, hardly any male is aggressively asked to wear tight shirts and tight jeans or smart clothing such as suits on a daily basis in order to be attractive to women. And finally, notice how we hardly ever worry about a man not having flawless skin or even flawless hair. Scruffy masculinity is actually pretty attractive to many. This is still a huge double standard, and it’s not OK.

So let me take some notes: 'Wearing...hoodies...and...comfy...clothing...is...not...grown-up...or...feminine...and...I...won't...get..a man'. I hope my grown-up girl-brain copes when it comes to assimilating that information!

-Now Cristen's trying on the stylist's clothing choices, so she turns from bashing Cristen's choices and belittling her to objectifying her. Because don't be mistaken, if she's being forced to show 'curves' and cleavage, it's hardly for her self-esteem boost, but to gauge how attractive the man will find her:


"How skinny are you? Why are you hiding that bod?" (hello, fatphobia) ; "Take your hands away! Where did these curves come from?" (if you're not curvy you're not a woman, probably) ;  "We must get these girls out...we have to get you out of the friendzone, and this (pointing to her cleavage) means business and it's sexy" (objectification 1.0. And the fact that it's a woman spewing all this rubbish makes my blood boil).

 And Cristen's apparently a prude because she 'feels uncomfortable' about wearing shorter dresses with cleavage - 'This dress would get attention that I'm not used to', she says, to which the stylist replies: 'You've got a tiny waist, amazing boobies, little butt!'. When she repeats that she's not comfortable, the stylist says that it's good to get her out of her comfort zone, and that "Tye's gonna die!! God!" Obviously, everything is for Tye. Not only is it invasive to force her to wear things she isn't comfortable with, please don't let these people make you think it's about her and her self-esteem.
Remember, dear, you're wearing this dress for your man and your body is for public comsumption, OK? That's why you're dressing sexy, it's definitely not for you.
Because hell yeah, women's bodies are objects to be enjoyed. ‘Dress sexier so that men can ogle! But if you're being too sexy, we'll call you a slut, don't worry’. And 'Why are you hiding that body, but let's also slim it at the right places and make it look how people want it to look, because you are never good enough and you better remember it'.

How about showing what we want when we want, with no sexist constraints? And because we want to, for ourselves, and with our own style (and this doesn’t include religion-based female-only head and body coverings, in case it’s ambiguous, because I consider those very much in the 'sexist constrains' category and inherently misogynistic. Sue me). 

-Also, "This is how I want you to be". The damn summary of all these episodes.
Valar, give me strength to keep on listening to this 
-I recently read about this same stylist claiming that one of the girls looked 'feminine and sexy' instead of 'like a Physics student' during her clothing makeover. Here it also looks like being and/or looking like a college student is wrong. How interesting. I'm a physicist and was a college student, so I’m a disgrace to society in so many ways (yay!).
You were so right, my whole life was a lie, please teach me more, oh sexist fashionista!
-Here come the heels ('Best tip ever to give you superlong legs')! Absolutely essential. From now on, Cristen has to wear them all the time. You don't like them? I don't care, you need to bring a guy out of the friendzone and that means getting sexy (like getting sexy always means one limited set of gendered options, such as heels). Apparently, being ‘sexy’ means wearing painful, mobility-free shoes, yay.  And not chunky heels, no, this show loves the uncomfortable stilettos, because the most mobility impairing shit is the most feminine, I guess.

Because you're not a woman and you won't get a man if you don't wear heels all the damn time, just like I do!
And at the end of the shopping trip, Cristen exclaims 'I'm really happy!'. That's it, we all need a sexist stylist to change our style and teach us how to seduce a man. That's patronizing as fuck and paints women as childish beings who need supervision in order to be told what they really like.

And if we thought this makeover was getting extreme, they still have to teach Cristen 'empowerment' by learning how to objectify herself and turn Tye on in a Burlesque local, plus receive electric shocks while learning to flirt with a handful of strangers, and changing her hair and befriending make-up in the final stage of the makeover. So long way to go yet...
  • Discussion-rant: Society's evaluation and objectification of women's bodies. 
In case it may seem ambiguous, I'm not having a go at the stylist's choices because I'm somehow against cleavages, or showing your legs, or wearing tight dresses.  I actually really like low necklines and miniskirts myself. There is nothing wrong with dressing like that. And there's also nothing wrong with a woman who genuinely likes to dress "sexy" (that is a concept with many different answers, though, depending on your personal style. 'Sexy' is definitely not always tube dress+heels, and not everyone who wears a short dress wants to be seen as 'sexy', that's usually a very male-gazy sexualizing way to see it, I think :S). 

But telling someone that she MUST dress "sexy" and in a certain way to be desirable, to get a boyfriend (heteronormativity, of course) , to be noticed, to be appreciated, to be loved, basically to be accepted by society...That is WRONG. That is objectifying women. Women should not dress for men, or for anyone, for the record. They should dress for themselves. And that can involve short dresses OR Cristen's casual, baggier style. Or BOTH, depending on the day or occasion, same as I said about make-up above, because both styles are not mutually exclusive, for heaven's sake.  It doesn't matter, and it shouldn't change the way we see that woman. And if you have to alter your style and dress sexy and put on heels for a man to notice you, that's not okay. Fellow women, please don’t feel like you have to do that. It really is not worth your self-esteem to view yourself like that, an object to be evaluated by men and other women.

And you know what the really sad thing is? This mentality (that a woman must dress or look a certain way on order to be noticed by men) is so ingrained in so many parts (cultures with the oppressive 'modesty mindsets' still working very much included!) that so many women genuinely try to dress for everyone else, and not for themselves.  And it is so ingrained that, even if you dress "sexy" solely because you like it, most men are going to think you're doing it for them. Does it ring a bell when you decide to wear a low neckline or a short skirt simply because that day you feel like it, and you're uncomfortable when you're ogled and/or harassed in the street? Yes, rape culture and objectification and harassment is not flattering and it's not a compliment. 

This mentality is bound to lower women's self-esteem instead of "boosting" it, because it means that women have a terrible pressure of looking good for anyone else and to conform to a certain style and appearance, and it really doesn't matter if you don't like it. You'll be attacked if you don't conform and you'll be objectified and harassed if you do. There's no winner.


That's yet another reason why I find these kind of 'let's change your style' shows so unhealthy and wrong.

2 comments:

  1. "Once she's forced into the new 'fashionable' and 'feminine' style she will realize it had been her favourite style all along. Logic wins the day."
    You know… I've heard a similar argument from Muslim religious leaders regarding wearing hijab and similar coverings for women. They encouraged women to try, saying that they would realize they liked it and it was much better to be covered. I'm not even joking… I did a search for some of the words but couldn't find examples to link to, though :-/

    "The stylist sees a floral dress, and goes 'Mmmh, cute...But it's too girly, I need sexy!'."
    We want you reduced to an object of desire for the date! Objectification is what this date is all about! When will you learn!

    "If you're going to seduce a guy, you can't dress like a guy."
    There are lots of evidence that suggest otherwise, though ¬¬ (And yes, we should take into account that what this woman considers "dressing like a girl" and "dressing like a guy" are very narrow-minded options, as you mention afterwards…)

    "No! You look like a librarian"
    Because who would ever find attractive something that's related to books and knowledge, right? >_<


    Ah, what can I say… I agree with everything you wrote here. And again, post after post I discover that this show is even worse that I thought it could possibly get from what I already knew. It's appalling sometimes, it makes me quite sad…

    So from what I gather, the goal of the stylist is to get the guy to forget about her as a friend with her own hobbies and interests (many of which they *share*), and to see her in the date as, literally, just someone he'd want to have sex with. All of this while she's wearing clothes and shoes that make her uncomfortable with the only purpose of objectifying herself for this. I could understand if they wanted him to start seeing her as something more than a friend so a relationship could develop, but every single moment of the show is dedicated to criticising and humiliating her for having her own personality, tastes, hobbies and activities, and telling her to abandon them all. They're not trying to increase her attractiveness for this guy, they're diminishing her, turning her into an object of desire rather than a person. Everything here is so wrong that I can't even begin to explain it properly, like you did. And as I said before, maybe the date "works" as a one-day thing, but it sets a very bad precedent from which to forge a lasting relationship if it's all based on lies and abandoning everything that she really is…

    I'm eager to read what you have to say in further posts (and at the same time, I dread them for what the show might do after all this), and I have to thank you again for this analysis. Many, many of the things you say here should already be known by so many people…

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    Replies
    1. About the first paragraph, oh yes, I'm sure you're not joking, that sounds like the kind of 'logic' those jerks would use, and I've read similar things about that issue, too :/.

      Appalling, I agree :/ Yes, the whole goal is to make the girl (and the male crush) believe...
      -That she's an object whose only important asset is her appearance.
      -That she must conform to society's narrow-minded and limited ideas of what's 'masculine'/'feminine', fashionable' and 'attractive'.
      -That your personality must be transformed as well as your physique, in order to conform to those limited gender roles. That a relationship won't work unless you conform in every way to these rules.
      -That the crush doesn't need to change and has a say in all of this, while the girl is transformed, told what to do, told to get rid of her ideas, personality, style and hobbies, and completely diminished, as you say, in every way. Double standarts everywhere.
      -That a relationshiop is about changing in order to please the man. It's about power imbalances, inequality, lies, objectification.

      I agree, it seems that these people's idea of a date involves dehumanizing a woman, getting her to dress sexy so that the man can have sex with her, and forgetting about communication, equality, common interests, anything that resonates just even a bit of a 'healthy' relationship. These 'tips' aren't even good for casual dating or even one-night stands, they're still telling the girl to please the guy and hide herself, and that isn't the deal in casual dating either, total consent and the gratification of BOTH parties is always the key - So if these 'tips' are rubbish for casual dating, if we're talking about a longer-lasting relationship here, then they're simply a complete disaster - especially for the woman, because such a relationship would involve a huge power imbalance and the necessity to literally HIDE her own self every single moment in order to make the relationship stable. Just ugh!

      And to think that THIS is called 'romantic' and 'about love' by too many people in comments!!!!


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